


Art Block

by SweetSpicyDragon



Category: Original Work
Genre: Art Block, Depression, F/F, Struggles of being an artist, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 08:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10272266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSpicyDragon/pseuds/SweetSpicyDragon
Summary: Being an artist is hard sometimes. Art block, school, and time management along with getting the right art supplies an be challenging. She wanted success, she really did, but it was so difficult to work towards anything. She was lonely, so lonely. If only there were more inspiration, maybe then she'd improve. Maybe.





	

As soon as she walked in, she collapsed onto her bed, looking up at the ceiling through her hair. She let her backpack slide off the bed as she lay there. She turned her head to look at the giant tank in her room containing a large reptile. "You're just enjoying life right now, aren't you Wally?" The lizard looked back at her, blinking his eyes thoughtfully at his caretaker. A small smile appeared on her face. "You're lucky to be a lizard, nothing to worry about except getting enough sun, food, and water. None of this 'what will I do with my life' or 'what will I ever do in my lifetime that will be important at all' crap." With that, she grimaced and sat up, getting her drawing pad and pencils out and putting on a song. She sat there, unsure what to draw, so she just doodled little things, lizards, flowers, horses, and a Silent Hill moth monster thing that she wanted to one day try to submit somewhere. She sighed, as she wanted to draw something amazing, something as best as she could, but when she got a new sheet of paper, she simply sat there, pencil in hand, staring at the paper. As she searched her mind for inspiration, she drifted to thoughts. Thoughts that scorned each and every one of her drawings and pointed out how she would never get anywhere if she couldn't do this. She sighed deeply. 'why do I even try if my chances of making my name as an artist are slim.' Still, she decided to doodle some kind of skeleton bird monster, putting her signature on the side of the paper and getting out her watercolors, coloring blood red feathers, a sunset background with pale red tinging the bones. She exhaled and set it to dry, looking at the time and getting some pot pie her mom had made her, heating it up in the microwave. She took out her lizard and set him on the bed, watching him crawl around and lick random things. She smiled slightly and pet under his neck, watching him lick her finger. She watched him until the microwave went off. She came back and shared some of the vegetables and meat in the pie with him, watching him snatch it up. She decided to draw him, watching him sit up and look up at her as she sketched him, lightly sketching out details of his scales, spikes, and markings. She put the quick sketch into her portfolio and picked him up again, rubbing his head gently and then setting him into his tank and giving him some insects to eat. She plopped back onto her bed and decided to watch some anime, maybe something happy or something cool. She decided to watch Kill la Kill, taking note of the animation the animation used for different characters and the action scenes, chuckling at some of the crazy things Mankanshoku did and at how Ryuko just spun her around like a sign and then set her down gently. She wanted to animate some day, or at least to some in betweens of some anime or cartoons and work her way up from there. She sighed, feeling like she'd never be that good, even if people told her she was an amazing artist. She couldn't help but wonder how some of her acquaintances were so good, it seemed everyone was better than her in some way. She'd admit it; she was kinda jealous of them. She uttered aloud to herself "I wish I could better myself, but it seems like I've made no progress at all" she looked down at her hands, thinking about how she wished she could be more creative. She gave up and just turned off the t.v., flopping back down on the bed and falling asleep listening to the song Ghost Rule.


End file.
